I've been hit!

15,000 times. By unique users. Thanks a lot - keep checking back, but in the meantime, get outside and have an adventure of your own! (Image lifted here) 1st hit 3/26/09 - 1,000th hit 5/26/09 - 10,000th hit 4/24/10 - 15,000th hit 8/3/10!

Stolen Bike! Please keep your eyes peeled! Taken early this morning.

PLEASE HELP FIND THIS BIKE!

It belongs to a family that has done so much for the Lincoln bike scene over the years, it's a tragedy that they were victimized like this.

Stolen 8/13/09 wee hours of the morning before 7 a.m.

Gary Fischer, Sugar 1

Aero bars

very valuable

dual suspension

Please keep your eyes peeled and all of your doors locked. They love this bike!

If spotted call 911, then call the owner at: 402-440-3227 her name is Susan.

Feel free to post this on your blog, or fwd in an email. Lets help them find their bike!

Bikes slaughtered on Lincoln trails! Oh! The humanity!!!

Good day, I'm NOA, reporting live from the John Dietrich Trail in Lincoln Nebraska.

The following report may be disturbing to sensitive audiences.

Now, with the women and children out of the room, we bring you the latest disturbing news from the John Dietrich Trail. The aftermath of these disgusting crimes was witnessed by NOA President and CEO, yours truly.

These explicit photos are only being shown to illustrate the magnitude of the horrific acts committed on our public trails. I personally can testify that the blue BSO had been chained up to the same trail-side shelter throughout this last week, obviously abandoned, but it wasn't until today that I saw the front wheel had been stolen.

I'm not making racial slurs when I use the N-word. I'll be the first to tell you that in this day and age no one should treat one bike with any less dignity or respect than another just because its a 'Next'.

The cycling community should be outraged at this kind of violence against bikes! The abuse inflicted on the Mongoose is unspeakable. The thrashed derailleur and mutilated saddle are unmistakable proof that individuals are on the loose, set out to clear the trails of discount store bikes.

Now, more than ever, we need to come together as a community to set an example to the culprits of these awful acts! We should all agree that regardless of where a bike comes from, be it a good, respectable LBS or a big-box store, they all deserve the same love and respect we would give to our own much loved bikes.

Sure, we all know that no true cyclist would commit such abuse and neglect. And that these acts were surely by the hand of criminals who have no respect for bicycles that deserve to be loved and cared for.

Lincoln prides itself on it's diversity, and we need to embrace all bikes and realize that bike love must... now, more than ever, cross lines and we must show by example that all bikes are safe from abuse and neglect on our streets and paths.

Lets band together to fight against those who steal and loot. And draw attention to those bikes that can not speak for themselves. Our fair city needs to be known as a place that bikes from all around the world can come to. They need to know that they'll be loved, cared for and have the same rights and privileges bestowed upon them as the bikes that first blazed our trails many years ago.

I beg of you, do not turn a blind eye to these hate crimes any longer! When you witness a bike being stealthily removed off a porch or snuck out of a garage or lifted out of an unassuming front yard or neighborhood bike rack, report the crime to the authorities and lets put an end to this abuse right now!

Live from the John Dietrich Trail in Lincoln, I'm the NOA. Now, back to you...

Today's commute to work and back = 19.94 miles.

Fathers Day is Sunday.

"Pearls"

I’ve heard this before, but this version is lifted off Rex Barkers ‘Joke of the day’ site.

The cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box. "Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please!"

Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box. "A dollar ninety-five. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents.

On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace. Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere -- Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?"

"Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you." "Then give me your pearls." "Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess -- the white horse from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me. She's my favorite."

"That's okay, Honey. Daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek with a kiss. About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?" "Daddy, you know I love you." "Then give me your pearls."

"Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my babydoll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."

"That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you." And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss. A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.

"What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?" Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, "Here, Daddy. It's for you."

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's kind daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime-store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny. He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her genuine treasure.

Remember that we each hold on to fake material treasures and lose sight of true reality.

Dale Carnegie quotes in early copies of "How to Win Friends and Influence People" a beautiful little piece entitled "Father Forgets" by W. Livingston Larned.

FATHER FORGETS

W. Livingston Larned condensed as in "Readers Digest"

Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone.Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside.

There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, "Goodbye, Daddy!" and I frowned, and said in reply, "Hold your shoulders back!"

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles.There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house.Stockings were expensive-and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!

Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes?When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. "What is it you want?" I snapped.

You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge,and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither.And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.

Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding-this was my reward to you for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: "He is nothing but a boy-a little boy!"

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.

Anyone that’s ever been a parent or a parental figure has probably felt the way the author did when he wrote this from time to time. Well, here’s your chance to do something about it. Make time, right now, to show someone you care. And make a promise to yourself, not to be critical of others.

Makes you want to run right out and buy your dad a new shotgun, gas grill, fishing pole or bike doesn't it? And to my kids: if your reading this, here is where you should take your piggy bank, the nice people there will know just what I need.

New cyclist advice.

(click pic for more info on her bike or click here for G.I.'s LBS)

A few weeks ago my talented photographer friend; Tammy from Grand Island, (click here to see her site) wrote me to say that she was buying her first bike since childhood.

"Hey (edited to conceal my secret identity) how are things going? I wanted to tell you since your a biking freak. I have not rode a bike in 20 ish years.. and I went out and spent $300 on an awesome bike at Wayne's with 7 speeds. I am so nervous about riding i am soooooooooooo out of shape and when I test drove it I almost hit a parked truck and car. I'm terrified. Any pointers for an old lady like me? LOL"

She should have known better than to ask someone as long winded as me, but here was my response. Did I overlook anything? Click comments and LMK.

"OMG - Ha! That's freaking awesome! Way to go! I'm so proud of you!

Wear a helmet (very most important rule!) you'll only feel dorky till you wreck the first time, from then on you'll feel safe. Plus guys think chicks in bike helmets are HOT! And it sets a good example for kids. Cheap wal-mart helmets are as good as anything.

Lower your seat at first so you can put your feet down till you have good balance (first 5 miles or 1/2 hour or so) then raise it till your leg is almost strait when your foot is flat on the bottom of your peddle stroke. (it's higher than you'll probably feel comfortable with) but your feet aren't supposed to touch the ground unless you hop off the seat. Raising your seat this high will keep you from feeling tired and be MUCH better for your body. I learned the hard way. Last year my knees were killing me, this year, no problems at all. I wish someone would have told me this when I first started.

Don't trust cars! Stay out of their way.

Spend $7 on a spare tube & tire lever and get one of those cute bags for under the seat to put it in if you ride farther from home than you want to push your bike. You can change a tube in 3 or 4 minutes, it's very easy. I've only had one flat in 2973 miles, but that's because I have a spare tube. If I didn't carry one I'd get a flat. (Murphy's law)

Take tons of pictures of your bike rides. They'll be adventures you'll want to remember. (hey, send me a picture of your new steed!)

Your butt will hurt, (but only at first) don't waste money on a softer seat or a gel pad or fancy padded cycling shorts, if you ride several times a week your rear will stop hurting after the first two or three weeks. I guarantee it. And it won't bother you again unless you stop for awhile. (over the winter)

Don't ever try to do anything too athletic, start out small and be proud of each ride. Huge epic rides will make you feel exhausted and keep you from wanting to ride more.

Start a photo journal or blog. It'll help you remember the rides and teach you to look for something worth documenting on every ride.

Ride in low gears. (what cyclists call) "Mashing" gears (going slow in high gears) is murder on legs and will make you tired fast. Much better to spin fast than peddle hard.

Smile at everyone, other cyclist, joggers, dog walkers, (especially) kids, motorist, etc. it makes them wish they were cool like you.

Eat before you get hungry. Drink before you get thirsty.

Even when you don't feel allot like riding. Take it around the block. That way you won't feel like a failure or feel lazy. Who knows, once on it you might go even farther.

Make some kind of goal right now. Say to ride at least 5 minutes 4 days a week. And at least an hour once a week.

Buy a odometer / speedometer - their about $20, and so totally worth it! I'd buy one right away so you always know what you've done since buying your bike.

If you are doing it for your health document your measurements right now. I don't ride for my health, but I've been documenting my weight every Friday morning for around 3 years. It's interesting how it fluctuates. (I've gained every winter, then it comes off in summer)

When you peddle, sit still! Don't sway, or bob or lean into your peddle strokes and don't swerve around, ride in a strait line. I can always tell when my kids have rode too far, they do all those things when they get tired and it just makes it that much harder.

Wear shades to look cool and keep bugs out of your eyes. I also have a quarter sized mirror in my bike bag (it was a wedding decoration) that works good to pick bugs out of your eyes if your out on a trail.

Write down your serial number! Don't put it off, do it now. (probably have to flip your bike over, it's probably under the frame)

Ride to Annabel's and order a peanut butter shake in recognition of me. I miss them terribly!

Always carry a couple of bucks for an emergency bottle of water or snickers. I once rode 20 miles out in the country on a hot day with no money. I ran out of water and stopped at a antique store to fill my bottle, the building didn't have running water, but the shop keeper had bottled water, she gave me one. I felt like a heal for not having any money with me. Don't be humiliated like I was.

Ease off the peddle stroke a bit when shifting, it's easier on your bike. Also, downshift BEFORE getting to a hill or coming to a stop. Augh! My kids can't seem to master this.

Once you've got a speedometer try to maintain a speed (9 mph would be good to start), then count your rpm's, how many times does your right foot hit the bottom of the peddle stroke in a minute. Your rpm's should be around 80. Higher than that and your using too low of a gear and less than 80 rpm means you should shift down to a lower gear (your mashing gears).

You might gain weight at first. (click here) don't let it get you down, I've lost weight every week since then. Just don't stop riding.

If your hands go numb: Buy some padded riding gloves. or Loosen your grip. or Change your hand positions more often.

If your neck or back hurt: Relax, don't tense up your shoulders or arms so much.

When peddling, don't just push down from 12:00 to 3:00 try to peddle from 3:00 to 6:00 too, like the same motion you'd use to wipe mud off your shoe. You'll be a lot more efficient and keep from getting tired so fast.

Need help prioritizing? Most important, buy a helmet, then a tube & tire lever, then a speedometer / odometer as you have money.

I don't listen to music when riding, but to each their own. I like to hear (cars, mean dogs, etc) and feel safer without music.

On bike trails, ride on the right side and when you come up from behind someone say "on your left" so they know that your going to pass them.

Bring your bike to Lincoln sometime and you can see first hand how cool the trails are. I'd drop what I'm doing anytime to ride with you.

I'm really, really proud of you. I think it's so cool you got a good bike! You rock."

I also knew of these bike blogs I thought she would like:

http://chiccyclist.blogspot.com/

http://girlsandbicycles.blogspot.com/

http://ridingpretty.blogspot.com/

http://changeyourliferideabike.blogspot.com/

Email the Nebraska Outdoor Addict Announcments, Events, Etc.

My email is: NebraskaOutdoorAddict@yahoo.com

I know I'm doing a crummy job of making a well rounded outdoor blog and could use your help.

If you know of an upcoming event that is outdoors or outdoors related send me a heads up. Pictures and jumplinks are a big help if you can. I only want free, super cheep or charitable events listed. I'm especially interested in:

Cycling, Hunting, Shooting, Fishing, Kids Events, Family Events, Annual Festivals, ATVs, Rodeos, Scavenger Hunts, Car, Air or Tractor Shows, Fireworks, Disk Golf, Scuba Diving, Metal Detecting, Geocaching, Kite Flying, Sand Castles, Cow Tipping, Archery, Boat Shows, RV Shows, Free Concerts, Bird Watching, Camping, Pumpkin Chunking, Swimming, Street Dances, Parades, Star Gazing, Road Rallies, Hiking, Outdoor Ice Skating, Biking, Snow Skiing, Sky Diving, Archeology, Etc. Etc.

I'd also appreciate your own first hand accounts of outdoor fun your having. Maybe you'd like to document something you've done, but don't care to start your own blog. Just email me about it and attach a picture or two. It's a great way to promote the sports you love and share your experience with others who enjoy the outdoors.

Nothing is too big or small. Send me a picture of your kids first fish. Or send a press release kit for a huge event. Just please don't send anything copyrighted, pirated, or copied off somewhere else without giving them credit. It may take a few days for me to post what I get. And all submissions are subject to my approval. Please, no hard feelings if your submission is not a good fit for this blog. Don't send anything that isn't rated "G" and safe for work.

Happy National Donut Day.

Pic lifted off synthesizednirvana's flicker page.

As reported in the food section of The Omaha World-Herald LaMar's Donuts is giving away a free glazed doughnut to everyone today.

LINCOLN, NEBRASKA, May 29, 2009 - On June 5, LaMar's Donuts will celebrate an American tradition by giving visitors to its stores a free Ray's Original Glazed donut.The complimentary treats are in celebration of National Donut Day, an observance the Chicago Salvation Army started in 1938 to honor the "lassies" of World War I - women volunteers who served donuts to soldiers behind the front lines in France. Donuts were chosen as a treat for the soldiers due to the difficulty of providing freshly-baked goods near the front lines. According to popular legend, the donuts were made with leftover ingredients and a wine bottle for a rolling pin. They were cooked in oil inside a soldier's helmet. The donuts were such a hit that the lassies produced thousands of donuts around the clock.While National Donut Day began during the Great Depression, LaMar's origins actually predate the first holiday by five years. Company founder Ray Lamar first began making his now-famous treats as a teenager in Kansas City in 1933."Given LaMar's own long tradition, we find it an appropriate patriotic salute to give away our Ray's Glazed Donut, the product that established the LaMar's legend decades ago and is our best-selling product today," said Jami Blair, LaMar's marketing director.Like all other LaMar's products, the Ray's Original Glazed is made entirely by hand from ingredients with no preservatives, so that every donut is fresh and unique.About Lamar’s Donuts Founded in 1960 by Ray Lamar in Kansas City, the first LaMar’s Donuts grew to national fame in part due to the long lines of customers that formed every morning at its door, as well as TV appearances by Ray Lamar and his gourmet donuts on NBC’s The Tonight Show and on The Food Network, among other productions. Since franchises became available in the 1990s, LaMar’s Donuts has grown to 30 locations in six states: Alabama, Arizona, Colorado, Kansas, Missouri, and Nebraska. LaMar’s Donuts have been recommended by Zagat’s Survey, the New Yorker and Gourmet Magazine, and were chosen in the summer of 2008 as one of America’s five best donuts by AOL Cityguide. More information is at www.lamars.com.

Thanks for the hits!

Pic lifted from kwc's flicker page. Yesterday the Nebraska Outdoor Addict blog celebrated a milestone with it's 1000th unique hit in our first 60 days. Thanks for checking out my blog. Keep stopping by and tell your friends. Seriously, thanks. I'm flattered.

Plate Prank

The troopers will be out in full force this weekend, so mind your P's & Q's and don't try any stunts like those crazy pranksters from down-under!

Now, it's in the news that Nebraska's DMV may have fallen victim to some pranksters of their own that could play into the final decision of this whole plate uproar.

Just be thankful we don't have to put those ugly things on our bikes.

Staycation?

Many are planning a staycation.

Here are some upcoming free events:

Lincoln:

5/19 Safe Kids Blast 3-6pm 27th St. just S. of overpass.

5/19 Nacho Ride 5:30 Mopac trailhead.

5/20 PANgea Noon-1pm Foundation Gardens 1415 N St.

5/20 Ride of Silence 7pm 1st & South St.

Nebraska:

5/20-24 ExtraORDinary Days Ord Ne.

5/22-24 Superior Victorian Festival

5/22-25 Big Springs Q125 Celebration

5/23 Monumental Fiddling Championship - Beatrice

5/23-25 Brownville Annual Spring Flea Market

If your staying around this week, hope you make time to get out and have some fun outdoors!

What's a henweigh? IDK? But a tooth must be 2 1/2 Lbs.

That's a little rural comedy for you city slicks. The old joke goes like this:

A farmer to his kid: "Hey boy, can you go fetch me something?"

Boy: "Sure Paw, what?"

Farmer: "A Henweigh"

Boy: "Paw, What's a Henweigh?"

Farmer: "About 6 pounds!"

Ha, Ha, Ha!

Ok, well, it seems funnier in a small town coffee shop.

I weigh every Friday, and knew I'd lose weight this week because I had my tooth pulled on Monday. And as I've said before, it doesn't matter if your bike is light or if your light. Plain and simple, the less weight you're peddling around the faster you'll be.

Since I can't afford a fancy lightweight bike, I'm trying to shed as much weight off myself to make up the difference. This week alone, I clipped my finger nails and toe nails, shaved my head, tweezed my nose hair and had a tooth pulled. Well, it paid off big time! I'm down by 2 1/2 pounds. I can't really tell a difference yet, but if I don't feel fast next week I might donate an organ, or at least that old piano we've got sitting in the corner. (oh, my humor is tasteless today, huh?) Well just click here to find a real funny cyclist from Lincoln.

Anyhow, if your ever on Jeopardy and Alex asks how much a tooth weighs, now you'll know, apparently it's 2 1/2 lbs. It could have something to do with the chocolate pudding, chocolate ice cream, apple sauce, and cottage cheese diet I've indulged in most of the week while recovering too. I've been so hungry for real food! Watch me gain it all back now. BTW: I still endorse the Tastee Sandwich. Now, get out and play!

Do I look as good as I feel?

Whoo. I juz got out ah the oral surguns offish. He got my bad toof out ligty splut. When he waz numing my moufh I told him "uz az mush az you want", well, he must ov lishend. Cuz I can't feel anything on the right side ov my faze. My whips tingwle and my zheek iz lumb, so iz the shide of my noze and my right ear. I feel like a fool. And can't move the right shide of my faze at all. My zheek is hanging down so low I'm wooeed it'll get caught in my shprocket while I'm peddeling.

Happy Mothers Day!

A very happy Mothers Day to all the Moms, Grandmothers, Godmothers, Aunts, Mentors, and all women that nurture a love of the outdoors in children.

Thanks for baiting our hooks, having hot chocolate ready after sledding, kissing our boo-boos, baking in the sun at 3-day rodeos, and biting your tongue when your vacuum finds spilled B.B.s.

Thanks for tolerating pet frogs, untangling zebcos, reminding us to wear sunscreen, having your 110 ready to document our 6" bullheads, and remembering to check our pockets for ammo before washing our jeans.

And for hauling canoes, saging us home when the wind is stronger than our legs, buying enough flashlight batteries to power NYC for a year, cooking every species of wild game that roamed the plains, getting up through the night to check on us in backyard tents, and for checking us for ticks.

Also for admiring pop cans peppered with B.B. holes, asking landowners for permission when we're too shy, remembering where we left our gloves, advising us a camp fire under the fuel barrel wasn't a good idea, and for shutting off the T.V. and sending us outdoors.

Least we forget calling all the neighbors to find where we wondered off to this time, airing up flats, breaking the news to dad about his tools lost at the fort, and giving back the fish hooks lost in your carpet.

And for doing it all with love, pride, admiration, and an understanding of our need to be in a place bigger and more beautiful than our minds could comprehend. Thanks for being an outdoors mom, even when you didn't have to.

Holmes Lake & Antelope Creek Trail

Went for one more quick ride today by Holmes Lake and down the Antelope Creek Trail to Fireworks.

By the way, I was deeply dissatisfied with that place when I went there last year around the 4th of July. Their selection was terrible! They didn't have anything I wanted, no sparklers, no black cats, no cherry bombs... But, I've got to say though, their food is outstanding! But, trust me, it's a lousy fireworks stand.

Anyway, back to my ride, on the way back I ran into seaman Brady and his glorious vessel. It was it's maden voyage under his ownership and he couldn't be prouder. His parents were beaming and happy to see him be able to take it out on the water since getting it for christmas.

Today was a new personal best for me so far during 2009, I logged 52.79 miles.

Happy Prayer Day & Odd Day.

Today is national day of prayer. Prayer is something poorly coordinated cyclists like me are very familiar with.

And as far as I'm concerned, if your not praying, your odd. Well, your in luck too. Only 6 times a century is there a day like today (5/7/09) with 3 consecutive odd numbers as the date.

So, if your not praying at least you can celebrate along with the rest of the world this odd day.

Hope you make the best of it and spend some time outside!

Call it the H1-N1 virus.

Picture lifted from fermata.daily.

Calling it the 'swine flu' has caused pork prices to unnecessary drop sharply. Consuming pork is safe.

I have the deepest respect and admiration for pork producers and I join them in encouraging you to call this new flu strain the H1-N1 virus.

I am going on the record saying that, "you should not read my swine flu post from yesterday" it was wrote back when the media was mistakenly calling the H1-N1 virus the 'swine flu' and I didn't know better.

Call Svone on the phone and tell him to come clean up his mess.

Yesterday I discovered this in the 48th St. & Billy Wolff underpass. Some people seriously need to take up a new hobby.